Tuesday - January, 11, 2010
Project - Week without a wife
Status: Day 1 complete
Summary: This project and subsequent report are the result of my wife's 'spur of the moment' (work related - planned in advance), throw caution to the wind (didn't want to be gone this long) trip to Boston for drinks, food and all around fun (work). As a result, I find myself a temporary single dad who is balancing the responsibilities of the house, work (I work from home) and my daughter. So, with her departure yesterday, the week begins. . .
Report - Day 1: Today was like any other day. Except that I didn't have time to shower, a 2nd cup of coffee and I am wearing two mismatched socks. The mismatched socks are fairly typical, but today I place the blame solely on the fact that I had to run from my bedroom closet to the bathroom where an impromptu bubble bath was going on in the sink. Our daughter (almost 4 - going on 13) felt it was necessary to bathe her barbies while, at the same time, challenging the very plumbing infrastructure within our home.
Observations from Day 1
1. If your better half is going out of town for an extended period of time, it is best to determine where your daughter actually goes to school before their departure. And, more importantly, it would be best to go there prior to their leaving so you can introduce yourself. Otherwise, you find yourself in the uncomfortable 'Stranger Danger' situation where you are being asked for identification and then your daughter is being asked if she recognizes the strange man who has shown up on time in the hopes of retrieving her.
2. Food - while delicious and nourishing - does NOT prepare itself. Now, call me the master of the Pop Tart, the guru of Lucky Charms, the Miyagi of PB & J, but the top half of the metal box in our house and the icy contents within it still confuse me. So, as an apparent boost to the local Danville economy, there will be an upswing in restaurant attendance this week due to the oven not working correctly in my house. Ssshhhh - that's the story I'm going with - heck, she's across the country - I'll just tell her I had it fixed before she gets home.
3. Toys, Toys, Toys - much like the one hit wonders Baha Men shouted about the dogs, I find myself asking, Who Let the Toys Out! But, instead of the WHO, WHO, WHO chanting afterwards, I have chosen to include the phrase, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH. Holy crap! My daughter is not 4 years old, yet she possesses the inner workings of a Category 4 Tornado with its eye set on a trailer park. Our house is small and the now random littering of barbies, toy cards, stuffed animals, sippy cups, crayons, clothes (why are there clothes out?), shoes (see previous question), dog snacks (WHO, WHO, WHO) and much, much more make it seem like mine field with only small areas where one can breath. As I type this, I find myself at my desk surrounded by coloring books, Little Tikes toys and a random sock (WHAT?).
In closing, Day 1 went well. In the same way a boat takes on water and everyone thinks they're going to die, but ultimately they make it to shore - so, that kind of well.
Stay tuned, if Day 2 & 3 go as well, I may need to permanent therapy.
DISCLAIMER (had to include this, right?) - I am fine. The contents of this update were meant to be humorous and as I type this, there is a pork roast cooking on the stove. Really? No, I swear! Please do not call me - I am perfectly fine.
